Welcome to the Adaptive Mindset. I'm Brett Gallant, cybersecurity thought leader and founder of Adaptive Office Solutions. Here, we don't just talk tech, we unlock the strategies, stories, and mindset shifts you need to stay secure, lead boldly, and thrive in a digital world. Let's get started. Welcome back to the Adaptive Mindset. I'm really pleased to have with me today Dalene Allen. She is the proud owner of Networking Naturally, and I can't say how proud I am to have her here with me because she is one of the first people that had me as a guest on her podcast. So it's a real Real pleasure to have Dalene with me. I've learned so much from her, and I know all of you are going to get immense value out of this conversation today. Welcome, Dalene

Brett Gallant

Thank you so much. And boy, you want to listen to everything that Brent Gallant does, because he'll keep your company and business cyber safe.

Dalene Allen

Yeah, 100%. So I know I want to get into various areas today with you, but what's really interesting about you is how you work your mindset, but how you help people. You show up in the world and And what I love most about you is you're a connector with your wonderful business of networking naturally. Let's dive into this for a bit and talk about how you connect with people and a little bit about your organization and how people can show up and thrive in networking because a lot of people are hiding sometimes because they don't know how to show up at a chamber event or even leverage LinkedIn. So let's dig into it.

Brett Gallant

Well, if you think about it, when I started my first business many moons ago, Brett, we didn't have all of the ways that we can communicate with people and really build a network. And here's the interesting part. Introverts actually are really the very best networkers, not people that are, you know, perhaps loud and outgoing. I think we're all in our comfort zones. we act differently than when we're in that unusual situation. And I tease people and say, are you allergic to networking? And most people are. Yeah. Yeah. Then when you think back to I mean, I grew up in a big family. So when you have brothers and sisters, you used to talk to people. If you're an only child, it's likely not the same upbringing. Right. And that so from a very early age, we moved around a bit. My dad was a naval officer. And so you get used to talking to people because you want to make a friend, you know, but we're not even really taught how to make a friend, are we?

No, we're not. No, no. Trial by fire.

Yeah. And so from an early age, my my I have two older brothers, and then there are seven daughters. And so we grew up with a mantra. Number one, my dad said, there will be no weddings paid for. I that was one of the first things I think I remember my dad said, without many children, I would say that would be a non negotiable. He made sure we he knew we didn't have trust. Right. But the good part about my parents message was never anything bad about money. that we were very fortunate and it was a positive in that you can do absolutely anything you wanna do, but you must be willing to work for it. You're trading your time for money and be wise in that. Now, my mother having raised seven daughters, her message was, I don't ever want you to be dependent upon a man. I want you to all be successful in your own right. And that again, that we could do things. that it wasn't like our brothers were treated really any differently. Although one sister, we had a very long driveway, like a really long driveway. And their job was to shovel snow. Our job was to do the dishes. And so for the sister that complained, right. My dad said, OK, get out and shovel the driveway. OK, well, that was now a totally different thing. So, you know. And we got allowances, and the older you got, the bigger your allowance got. But if you wanted more money, there was the cupboard door that had a list. Guess what? When there's that many people in the house, we had two bathrooms, we were really lucky. The list was, you want extra money? Guess where you made the most bucks? Cleaning one of the bathrooms.

I love that. I'm going to take that away with my family. I have four children at home, father of five, so our house is busy. I love what you teach when I interact with you in different communications you and I have had over the last couple of years. You've encouraged people to use something that's really novel. I don't hear a lot of people saying this, but you say it so well. Specifically in LinkedIn, when you're trying to make a connection, sometimes we neglect to leverage our network. And there's values in your connection. So you say your network is your net worth. I believe you say it that way. And so if you have a connection with somebody, for example, if I know you, Dalene, you say to me, Hey, if you see somebody on my network and I have a great working relationship with you, Well, contact me and ask me for an introduction. I believe you say it much more elegantly than I just did, but that intro, if you know anybody in my network, there's an interesting way people neglect to really take use on their digital networking.

Well, here's the biggest thing I find. Well, I'm connected, but I really don't know them. So I'm not comfortable doing that. And you want to say you are holding everybody back.

Yeah.

If we're connected. even if we don't know them, we are connected. Isn't that what we're all about, right? So the way I like to look at it is, let's say you and I are having a chat today. What I suggest before getting together with somebody for chat, go into my LinkedIn connections and see if I can make an introduction or two for you. And I will go into yours and we can talk about whether we're comfortable with this or not. Excuse me. What I really love when we get there, nine times out of ten, they haven't done it, but I've done it. And I'll say, you know, we're getting to know each other, but I would like you to know that I'm happy to make an introduction for you. And what I'd like to show you is a couple of examples of what I'm looking for. And so I'll bring up a profile and let that person have a look at it. And I'll say to them, now, why do you think I would like to meet that person? And they usually look at you and I'll say this, this and this. And then I'll say, now go on into mine and just let's pick out somebody. You just have a look at a few profiles. So they usually at that point, it's like, OK, well, I can look. I didn't promise to introduce you, but I'll have a look. And then I'll say, let's talk about why you did that. And then they'll go because of this, this and this. I said, you see, we've just saved each other a couple of hours. of time. Yeah, let's look at a second one. Because you've just given me an incredible visual of what you're looking for. Guess what? It's like telling a story. I have that person's face, I have their information about them. And then I'll say, here's what I'm going to do for you. And then I, you know, you click in that one person's name, you click in the other person's name, they come up in green. And then I just say, although we don't know each other, well, yeah, We are connected. Yeah, like to introduce you to this person because I think there's some synergy there. At least it's worth having a conversation. How novel. Yeah. Well, and because that person picked the profile. they know what they're looking for, right? So a couple of things, though, to backtrack. My parents were very resourceful people. We grew up on the road to Peggy's Cove, and my mom, there was a barn at the end of our very long driveway, and she had a handcraft shop. She did shop local before anybody ever knew what that term was. Only handmade in Nova Scotia crafts. And as as we got older, as kids, we got to work in the shop. We also were resourceful in that we would sew and and make things. I knit fishermen, knit sweaters. It was teaching us that, yes, you could make some money. That would be number one. Yeah. But the fact that and I've lost my train of thought there. But anyway, I was used to talking to people, used to doing things like that. So, and I met people from all over the world. I mean, my mom had nine kids. She would read us the Riot Act, stay in the house or you'll all be shot. If I sell something, you get a treat. So the cars driving out of the yard, we're all running, do we get to go get a treat? And so I did have an entrepreneurial education, but Not like when we got to go to business. So when I started my very first business, you would have thought I was comfortable talking to people. But the minute I had a business card and it was my business, then you become the imposter syndrome of I can't have a card if my life depended upon it. And so, you know, my business was growing, but not like you hope it will. Right. And so what I started to do was I made a list one day. I was so frustrated, Brett. I made a list. OK. What would I wish that people would do for me? That I had pages. You know yourself, we could talk about that list of page. And then I said, okay, I'm just going to do that for other people.

I love that because when you give to the universe, I believe 110% when you give with intention of not receiving anything that you just want to help people. I know it comes back to you tenfold.

Oh, but the joy that you get. I call it, you know, win, win, win, win, win. And so when social media started to come out, it's like, whoa, I'm into this, right?

Because I, you know, you could- You could help even more people just by sharing your story.

Well, but you literally could build that million dollar business sitting at home. I mean, we crave human connection now more than ever. But when that person, I've connected those two people I envision three smiles, right?

Yes.

And the fact that, you know, again, all I have to do is make one or two introductions when I meet a new contact, get to know them a little bit. I'm going to try to introduce them or I'm at least going to like, share and comment on their posts, because then you get into their algorithms. All of their connections become your connections. Like, share, comment on LinkedIn, at least five words. Don't sell, you know, till like five to seven connections. And here's the thing, Brett, you and I have likely over the years had somebody that we wanted to shoot as a client. Yeah. We're not naming names.

No, no. Sometimes, sometimes values between two people or two organizations change. And that's just the way it is. It's a fact of life. Relationships change. Exactly.

But here's the thing. At least if we spent a little more time getting to know that person, we will eliminate many of the headaches that people experience.

Right. Because people really understand when they understand how much you care and understand who they are and where they're coming from. Because life is all about perspective. I have a perspective. You have a perspective. My son has a perspective.

But we're the connectors of the world, Brett, because we understand that is far better to give than to receive if you go in with that idea to help people. And again, initially could say perhaps it was a selfish thing that I did. But when you're frustrated, make a list. And then to relieve the frustration, it's like, okay, I'm going to do what I wish other people would do, which is really very simple. But instead, we tend to, you know, beat ourselves up or beat the person up, like, why would they do this? Why won't they do that? Other thing I really find is especially for newer entrepreneurs. Yeah. My dad came from a family of 14. My mom came from five kids. Like I have more cousins than you could shake a stick at, not that I grew up close to any of them. But I made sure when I started that business, my first business, that I went to every single person. second cousin twice removed, you know, whatever. And if they got divorced, I'd go to the new ones and just say, I do not expect you to grow my business. This is what my business is. But I would appreciate first, I would say to them first, look, if you've got anything I can help you with, count on me. And then I would say those other things of. If you ever hear of anybody looking for these services, I would sure appreciate if you would realize that's what I'm looking for.

Wow and that's so many entrepreneurs, well that's not fair for me, but there's a number of entrepreneurs that hang their shingle and they don't take action. So what you've done and what you explained is an elegant, respectful, not a salesy way, of speaking your future into existence. And in a way, it's like enabling your own raving fans that at least your network is aware. Hey, daily is here. I've started this great organization. I want to help people. This is what I do. So if we going back to the old days of how we did advertising and marketing, The old way would be, okay, we're gonna put something on the radio and put something in yellow pages. And I know I'm dating myself, but what incredible tool when we just have conversations with people in our own network, and connect with them, tell them who we are, what we're doing, what we're trying to accomplish. And at the same time, you can hear what their goals, what their vision is, and you will have that awareness of them. So you're all working together to help each other.

Well, and I don't believe anybody intentionally does things to really annoy you. You know, that'll happen. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. But how can they help you when you really don't let them know how to help you?

Right? It's sort of like you just sit there and you say, okay, why isn't anybody calling or they don't know? Well, you haven't really spoken to anyone to share what you're looking for. So how can a person be enabled to help you if they don't know? It's our job to help people understand what we're doing.

Oh, and but assume, right? Yes. Yes. So I was doing a talk for some MBA students not too long ago, and so they were coming up to a job fair. And I said, OK, have you gone into all like your parents? to see who their connections are. Have you gone into aunts, uncles, you know, other people in your family? And a couple of them after the job fair went back and said, you know, my dad knew this person at this organization and they were going to be there. So I made a connection. And the person happened to also be working for that company at the job fair, got a job. You know, and I think father said, it was a young woman said, I'm not gonna make an introduction, you reach out, right? But say you're my daughter. So he made her do it, which she initially was not that comfortable with, but that's how easy it is.

Well, and I think, I wanna say this, cause it's on my heart to say it. Sometimes we hold back from doing that for fear, But the thing, I say this all the time ever since I heard it, and we don't want to have that conversation like the daughter doing that, but everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. So you have to get uncomfortable. When you get uncomfortable and do the hard things, like having that conversation, which is a necessary conversation, you move the needle forward. It's incredible what happens when we take action.

I also love to say that many people are starving in an orchard. Yes, yes. Or just a low-hanging fruit.

For example, I was thinking about what we're talking about is remind me of a conversation I had yesterday. I was speaking with another individual in the cybersecurity space. He's a business owner in United States, and he was a little stuck. And he wanted to take action. And I said to the gentleman, I said, listen, you have 10 or 12 clients you need to reach out to. and you don't like the part of the work you wanna do, I know you don't like to do it, but instead of thinking of the 12, pick one client, and I'm gonna teach you something that I learned, the Pomodoro Method. Have you ever heard of that? Pomodoro Method, I don't have it here with me, but I have a little timer, and you set your clock for 25 minutes, and you work on that task, and you do it even if it's something you don't like to do. I have, As a symbol for me, I'm holding up a picture of a green frog. Brian Tracy said, eat that frog. Hey, we both have frogs. I can't see it. But the point is, I helped that man. He was fearful of taking that one action, because it was so overwhelming. And he took it to being just one item, and he's doing the 25 minutes. So I call it daily, and I call it 25 minutes to thrive in 2025. That is a beautiful frog.

I have two.

You have to see that frog. But that's the beauty in all of this, the networking and taking action and overcoming that fear. So here's the other thing.

Most people, when they even hear the word networking, is enough to put fear in their heart. If you only do something once in a while, you're never going to get good at it. Right? So every day, and a friend who built a million dollar business, he really didn't like to go out to networking events, but he didn't mind having a cup of coffee once he got to know somebody. He said, Delene, I go in and I search profiles and I find one new person a day. Somebody that I have something in common with. When was the last time you updated your profiles on social media? And somebody that I think I have something in common with. And so he went for the human connection first. And I'm a big believer in if you can find something in common to talk about, the business going to happen organically. So I am strategic because I still do that every single day. You start making a new connection a day, five days a week, four weeks in a month. That's 20 over the run of six months. That's 120 people. If you work the 80 20 rule, that's about 24 new relationships or possibly a dozen new clients.

Yes.

Right? I'm the queen of little things. When you take care of the little things, big things will take care of themselves. I watch so many people, they'll network till they're busy and they stop. And I say, death by installment.

Well, you have to be consistent, consistency compounds. There's a story that Zig Ziglar used to share all the time about the lumberjack where his, He had great output, and then all of a sudden, he got better and better. But then one day, he realized, my output had stopped. It wasn't as productive as before. Well, he forgot to do that necessary thing. And I think of networking as the necessary key component to your business. what the lumberjack forgot to do every morning when his output went out, he stopped sharpening his axe. So the 10 minutes every day sharpening his axe increased his output profoundly. So as little as what you're saying is making at least one connection new every day and having a human connection, is like sharpening your ax. Exactly. Yep.

Well, there's two things I do every day and it can be, I try to do a first thing in the morning, but sometimes if I have a little extra time, I'll do two more. So one is always a new connection. I check their connections, you know, cause if I'm going to do this strategically, yes, I see something that I'm interested in that person, but I'm also interested in who they're connected to. Right. Genuinely interested in the individual first. But their connections say a lot about who they are, whether they're over the 500 mark on LinkedIn means they're working. It means they're in the algorithms means that, you know, they're really doing it. They don't have a picture like, OK. And so it goes into my calendar. So if I connect with them today, two or three days later, it's in my calendar. Go and check what they're posting, like, share, comment, five words, so on. But the other thing I love to do is whether somebody's ever bought from me or not, or I have done business with them, I have a gratitude, right? I just want you to know, and here's the thing, praise the action, not the person. So my gratitude would be to go in and say, I have learned so much from you, Brent. make sure that you know that, and that I really appreciate you and that's sincere. And so those gratitudes fill my cup. And I got to tell you, just then the conversations really start. So it's a way of always keeping in touch with those previous people. People don't buy when you want them to, they buy when they're ready.

And if there's a relationship, Yeah, and we live in a world of abundance, and so if we give and show up and help people, can't get any better than that. And what you said was so beautiful, and I want you to know I appreciate you, and I'm grateful for knowing you, and I just wanted to tell you that right here, now, at this moment. So, thank you.

So for anybody listening here today, when you go to a networking event or anything that you're doing, you're looking to meet people like Brett and I, the connectors. And here's a couple of tips that I will give you. A connector is, if you say to everybody that referrals are the greatest compliment, some people will automatically say, give me 10 cards, I'll hand them out. That's the connector. Other people look at you like you have rocks in your head. But if you don't tell people referral matters, they can't they can't help you out. Right. Yes. Yeah. And just saying that can open doors to many things. So I have been a long term, if anybody on TELUS is listening, long term happy TELUS client. OK.

I see gift cards coming to you from TELUS Corporation.

Every week, Brad. They send me a special and I'll say, do I qualify for that? Oh, no, it's only for new clients. And you want to say, I just want to shoot you. Yeah. If we don't take good care of our customers, they're going to go someplace else. So if your specials are only and and watch the asking or sharing for referrals, I don't promise people stuff. But I got to tell you, I got the cutest thing in the mail the other day. A beautiful the person had the card printed the thank you card with a message. And I'm going to tell you on the back of the card, this is a smart business person, is all the company info for that company. So when that's sitting on the desk, because, of course, the picture I'm looking at, somebody sitting across from my desk and said, oh, who is this person? And that's what I looked at the back of the card and said, oh, That was brilliant.

Yeah.

So this person, of course, took a picture that said, Oh, I want to get ahold of that person. I thought, right. So what I did a long time ago, was I started to print up my own thank you cards, my own sympathy cards, and And I'd actually done that. OK. Yeah. And because number one, cards are expensive. But when you send something in the mail to people. Right. But this was a couple of beautiful tea bags. We couldn't have a cup of coffee. You know, we had a zoo, although we couldn't have a cup of tea together. I wanted you to have a cup of tea for me. And I thought that did not cost a lot. But to me, I've likely shared that with 10 people this week.

Oh, it's the thought that matters. I still remember before I formed my company, I worked for an amazing construction fabrication company. And it really set the foundation for my business. And I learned a lot from the founders and how they operate. And I'm very grateful that I had the opportunity to work for them. But one of the most, the things I remember the most, I fixed the computer for the daughter of the president. And she took the time to send me, write me a thank you letter. I still remember that. And I'm telling you that story right now. And it's gonna be 20 years later.

Exactly. But when somebody takes it, that was one of the things that my mom taught all of us was a thank you note. You know, it's important to say please and thank you, but more important that you actually put it in writing. And it's a lost art today, although there is a wonderful company called Sendout Cards.

I've used that in the past. It's great. Yeah, it is. Truly is. So I want to ask you, how do people connect with you? And do you offer anything through your Networking Naturally organization? I want to give a little opportunity for us to tell our listeners what you do.

So yes, I recorded an online networking program on really the system I implemented. which is a whole lot easier today because we can do it all on social media. And it's a four module course. And if you follow it and do one module a week for about four weeks, you'll be into my system if you will. And that system made me millions. So right now I'm doing a program, a fundraising program with Make-A-Wish. My mission is to raise $10,000 this year to grant a wish for a child. And I believe there's over 70 children in Nova Scotia alone waiting for a wish. It costs $10,000 to grant a wish. So if you were to purchase that course, 50% of that course, the course retails for just $88, $44 will go to Make-A-Wish. Yeah. So I need 220 people to buy the course. So what I'm going to encourage people to do is find Aileen.

on LinkedIn and you use Instagram as well, right?

Yeah, or reach out to networkingnaturally.ca. Yes.

Yeah. And, and, but do also, I want you to, if you DM, send Darlene a message on LinkedIn, make a wish. Yep. She'll know that it came from here. and she'll connect you and give you the information to get to network naturally. I think that would be so incredible. Not only will you have the opportunity to acquire a great skill, but you're gonna make an impact on a child's life. I can't think of anything better than that. That's a win on so many levels, three ways. One, you're helping Dailene, but most importantly, you're helping yourself, and even more importantly, you're gonna help a child make a wish. It's a life-changing wish. For the last four minutes here, I want to ask you a question. Have you ever had moments in your life where your mindset may have been weak and you had to revisit and reframe and have that reset to get your mindset back on track?

Somebody interesting, I was on Zoom the other day for the Center for Women in Business, and Kathy Kolevackia from Pepperitt Marketing has two files. One file is for any awards, thank yous, if she's done a presentation someplace and they send a testimonial. And then the other file that she keeps are thank you notes. So I do have files like that. So the other thing is sometimes we also, when we're a little bit blue, reach out to somebody. that we know will lift us up and say, I need a message. Or I also like people who go, okay, today's a bit of a challenge. Can you send me puppy and baby pictures, right? Because odds are they'll not only send you that, but they'll also send you a little positive message. What I used to do when I had my other business, I would call people that I really admired and respected. And I'd say, hi, how you doing? Tell me what you love about your job. And because they knew I was self-employed, it's like, Elaine, I hate my job. Click. And I go, OK, I feel better.

Oh, I hope you had quite a few that said they loved it and gave you some tips.

Not so many, Brett.

You know, I think this is the thing I've been really preaching a lot. and because it's really transformed my life as business owners, we forget to put our own oxygen mask on. And we have to treat ourselves as our own best client. And you have to give yourself permission to do that. And you know from being an entrepreneur and all the different entrepreneurs you connect with, some are drowning and miserable. And they forget to take that, at least protect half an hour to an hour for themselves. It can make such an impact on their lives.

And you are living proof, right? I mean, I used to hate exercise, like hate exercise.

Yeah.

And then COVID or no, then I moved and I'm like five minutes from a good life. So I said, OK, I have no excuse now. And so I got into the habit and I enjoy it now. OK, then COVID happened, Brett. And then it's like, OK, gym closed. OK, what am I? So we put some gym equipment in. Now my husband is on the gym equipment. So you kind of go, you know what? You can make an excuse or you can find the time. Now, my other thing with that was I can't sit on my butt and watch TV. The only way I can watch TV is I get up and walk on the treadmill. And then to make it more interesting, I only watch programs in other languages. I'm not sure I'm learning Russian or Italian, but right, because then they're dubbed and then you have to really pay attention to the dubbing. And then like I'm on the treadmill and an hour goes by and you think that was like 10 minutes because I'm not focusing on it. I don't want to be on this treadmill. It's like, I love the treadmill.

That's what I do to get my reset. I'll go for a walk or a hike and I'll listen to a podcast. or record a group coaching call. And to be fair, I take the time sometimes just to be quiet. Because in the quiet times when you're out walking or doing whatever it is for you that you put your own oxygen mask on, those thoughts and those ideas percolate and come to your mind, that thinking time. Unless we get quiet, we miss those messages, don't we, Brad? Yeah, we have to quiet our minds sometimes. Oh, I have this habit of asking every one of my listeners, I want to ask you, what's one book that has inspired you or that you would recommend people consider reading?

Well, one of the latest ones I read was Atomic Habits.

Oh, grateful. Yeah.

The reason I love Atomic Habits, because what he talks about is we can all set a goal. We can all have a new year's resolution unless there's a simple system implemented. It ain't going to happen.

Awesome. That was basically his message. Yeah. Incredible book. I'm actually going to when I'm driving this week, and I think I'm going to listen to that. on the audible on my way to Halifax.

Or I'll tell you the other thing, Brett, consider listening to is anything by Sam Horn. I hope to bring her here in September. Phenomenal. I just met with her in Austin, Texas.

Okay. I'm going to check that out. Oh, yeah. Okay. So Darlene, listeners, please connect with Darlene, networknaturally.ca. Find her on Instagram, LinkedIn, DM her, make a wish so you can make an impact, invest in your course, invest in yourself, and Everyone, I know this episode has inspired you to take action and you've learned something. The biggest way you could thank Dailene and myself is by finding one to three people that you know in your network that could be impacted by this episode. And the biggest thanks for both of us is sharing this episode. And we're so, so grateful for you to be here listening to us. And Dailene, thank you. It was such a pleasure to have you.

My pleasure, Brett. And anyway, and to everybody listening, follow this man, he's genius.

Thank you, that's so kind. Thanks for tuning into the Adaptive Mindset. If you found value in today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who's ready to thrive in the digital age. Stay secure, stay adaptable, and I'll see you next time.